Back at the Barnyard: The Abbatior
Does anyone remember Back at the Barnyard? It was a show that aired on Nick in the mid 2000s, based on the Nick movie from 2006. Just like the movie, no one cared much for the show, I was no exception, but I did need to watch it one time. I've been an Internet reviewer for sometime now, and I always wanted to do a review of some forgotten shows. I wanted to do a review of Back at the Barnyard, due to the fact that it had been largely forgotten. I was including it in a forgotten cartoons video along with The Mighty B and Mr. Meaty, since they are rarely remembered, despite all being horrible, as well as great material for negative reviews. However, many of the episodes were hard to find. That was until I happened upon a certain website. Now the name of the website (which I will give since it doesn't exist anymore and most likely never will again) was FullEpsLand.com, probably an abbreviation for "Full Episodes". It was like a knock-off version of Piratebay, but more stable. I found only a few episodes, and strangely enough, they had only numbers and no titles. I began downloading each one onto my desktop. Each video was being downloaded at an uncharacteristically fast speed, which suprised me due to the fact that my computer was quite old at the time, it was one of those "boxes" running Windows XP or some other ancient O.S. I burned the files onto a disc, inserted it into my DVD player, began viewing the episode for bugs, and ensured that the video quality was good. The 1st loaded up and began playing, but the strange thing was that the intro contained no characters, which was very odd. However, I shrugged it off as some edit the poster had done, probably for copyright reasons or something. But what was really unnerving, was the title. When it cut to the title card, it was just some bloody red lettering against a background of filthy white tiles that read "The Abattoir". Now this seemed strange that a kid's show would discuss such things as what goes on inside such a location, but I pressed on out of morbid curiosity. The episode opened with a pan across the inside of the barn. All the animals were discussing how they hadn't been fed in several weeks, as well as how the farmer had become more agitated and irritable, to the point of being abusive. He had even gone so far as to kick one of his lambs, causing her to go limp. Hearing this statement shocked me. I didn't think a kid's show on Nickelodeon would be discussing such topics as animal cruelty and neglect. They continued to speak, stating how there recently had been some strange men at the farm looking over the cows, sheep, and pigs, and that they had said they'd be coming back. Just then, a large truck pulled up and stopped right in front of the barn, prompting the animals inside to quickly return to their realistic behaviors. Suddenly, the doors swung open as two men in yellow PVC overalls and white rubber boots walked inside. The men open the corrals and began leading various animals one by one into their large truck. As the men did this, Pip emerged to see what was going on. One of the men stomped on Pip, killing him instantly. His bones could be heard cracking, as blood gushed from his mouth and nose. Otis witnessed this and was about to fight for his friend. As the men approached Otis to load him, he made his stand, kicking one of them over. Enraged, the man produced a stun-gun and held it to Otis until he stopped moving. I jumped, wondering how Nickelodeon could've allowed such a thing on TV. The two men dragged Otis into the back of their truck before shutting and latching the doors. They walked to the house where the farmer was, many overdue bills could be seen lying on his front steps. The farmer was handed several thousand dollars. "Good!", he said in a sad voice. "It really pains me to do this, but I'm 'bout broke and this is the only was I can make any cash." Meanwhile, in the back of the truck, the animals are beginning to panic, some even speak of escaping but to no avail, as there is a heavy mesh fence in the truck, and no room to move. Eventually, the truck reaches its stop outside of a large industrial building, as hundreds of semis backed up to the loading docks of it. The two men step out, open the doors of the truck, and lead the various animals into single file lines. The screen twitches and cuts to real-life footage of animals being unloaded, presumably from some documentary or elsewhere. I began to wonder if this was actually part of the original episode. It cuts back to the sheep, as one of them is jerked out of line by a pair of electric tongs placed on his temple. Within 5 seconds, he is lying on the ground, his legs still kicking from the electricity having surged through him. He is then strung up, as a worker pull the knife from his hip scabbard and plunges it into the sheep's throat. The screen then switched again and cut to actual footage of a sheep being stuck, which caused me to vomit. At this point, I was tempted to turn the television off but the batteries in my remote were dead, and my TV didn't come with a power button on it, so I was forced to keep watching. It became a montage as it cut to every character in different stages of the slaughtering process. Abby was shot in the head with a captive bolt and had her throat sawed open. A now deceased Pig was thrown into a vat of soapy water and floors around by a roller. A now conscious Otis had his throat slit "Sweeney Todd" style without being stunned, in a so-called "Halal" killing. The empty corpse of Bessie was split in half by a large bandsaw. Later, a giant machine ripped Abby's hide from her body. Peck had been decapitated and was now running around frantically as blood poured out of his neck. More real slaughterhouse footage was shown, which displayed sheep getting their chests cut open by a wicked-looking device known as a "brisket scissor". If you're wondering how I know these terms, I did some research after watching the episode. I've also managed to find out that the actual slaughterhouse footage was from a documentary done in 2005. Finally, a close-up shot of all the characters (with the exceptions of Freddy and Duke) heads in a dumpster was shown. Suddenly, one of the pig's eyes blinked. The episode then cut to black with no credits. I tried to find the episode but immediately after it ended, the DVD shattered in my player, and the file on my computer deleted itself. How exactly did this happen? I don't know! Despite this, I want to know if anyone else remembers it, or better yet, who worked on it, did it air, is the footage original to the episode, and so on. If you know, please contact me. Category:Lost Episodes Category:Nickelodeon Category:Bestpasta Category:Suggested Reading Category:Death Category:Abuse Category:Dismemberment